I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize