OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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