im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
false alarm, still single
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
