The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
