Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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