Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
please come you make the beer taste better
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
