i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
