Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
