dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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