i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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