wanna go halves on a baby?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
