you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize