The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
