i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
