I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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