worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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