The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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