Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
