Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
