so explain again why im purple
no
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
