hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
