Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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