from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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