we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
