oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
