I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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