if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
