was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
