Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
