i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
