Define "chronic" masturbator.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
