so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
