He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
