Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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