I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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