Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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