I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
