return my video game
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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