5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
