The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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