We won't sleep together?
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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