Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My life is pants optional.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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