i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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