I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
