I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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