he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
