i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
