I hate your face
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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