Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
