Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
