just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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