Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
