I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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