so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
smell my finger.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize