Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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