The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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