3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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