Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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