I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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