I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
