A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
