Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Houston, we have a blender
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
