Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize