there's paper in my vomit.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
