Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
