the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
