remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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