He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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