I hate your face
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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