just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
