Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
