i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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